The response to my recent blog on Emotional Intelligence was a bit unexpected. Rather than individuals seeking personal guidance, I have been overwhelmed by responses from Managers, Leaders, and Learning Centers regarding one recurring theme: How can we encourage employees to truly address self-awareness? It's a critical question, but one that often encounters the same answer—self-awareness. Many individuals, managers, leaders, coaches, professionals feel they’ve already checked that box, claiming, "I’m very self-aware."
This blog is going to focus on the development of self recognizing that self-awareness is not a one-time achievement; it’s an ongoing journey that requires constant review. I will use a recent example I encountered. Last week, I went into the bank to exchange Australian currency. I had the Australian currency since my trip in July. This was now October and I was finally in the bank to process the exchange. I was rushed as I was trying to complete in 3 minutes so that I could make my next appointment. The bank cashier began to help and it seemed all would go well. She scanned the Austrailian currency told me the amount I would be depositing and I thought great, almost finished. And then, a simple non-threatening response from her, elicited a turn in the conversation. She said push the bottom button saying ‘No print’.
I informed her there the bottom button said something else and there was not an option not to print. Her response was innocent enough, ‘let me see.’ Three simple words that were not received in the tone she delivered. I was not sure where I went, as I responded, there is not a No Print option can we please move forward. The conversation proceeded to sour, she became slower in her responses, I became more agitated and my tone soured. No need to provide further details but let’s just say as I left the bank, I heard a huge sigh and continued on my way. I got into my car, now late and stopped. I took let out a breath; however, my were deep breaths to regain composure. I realized, neither of us had any idea what happened, were both at fault, and both needed to check ourselves.
Now, for me the problem is the person in the bank used to exist with more frequency; however, I thought I had eliminated that persona from my life. Unfortunately, in that 8 minute transaction, I realized, WOW, I need an inventory check. I had surgery the last day of July and have been in pain since, so maybe that persona was more prevelant than I realized. Since that encounter, I have done inventory and yes, have noted areas in which my self-awareness had decreased.
So as a reminder, I implore you to join me in this journey as we move beyond the familiar territory and step into the deeper realms of clarity of insight, internal exploration, blind spot recognition, and authentic observation.
Remember, this blog is a response to those businesses seeking practical ways to help their teams uncover the hidden layers of understanding—both within themselves and in their relationships with others. We will use the Johari Window, I described in March, 2024 and break down the path to YOUR personal and professional growth into four meaningful quadrants: open self, blind spot, hidden self, and unknown self. Each of these quadrants offers a powerful lens through which we can view our behavior, communication, and leadership.
Below is the Johari window, which emphasizes trust, feedback, and mutual learning. By expanding the open area, we enhance self-awareness and enrich relationships. self-awareness isn’t a passive state; it’s an ongoing journey. Whether through introspection, feedback, or models like the Johari Window, embracing self-awareness empowers us to live authentically and thrive.
The Johari Window
The Johari Window uses two knowledge flows, that is it. One flow is self-knowlege (known and unknown). The other knowledge flow is what others know or do not know about us. The four window panes depicted above are not fixed size. In fact, the goal is to increase the Arena (Open Self). How do we change the sizes of the windows? By becoming more comfortable with feedback, self-discovery (internal insight), and self-disclosure. The more we share information, the more accustomed to feedback we become, the more we share, and the cycle continues.
Open Area (Arena): Known to self and others. Effective communication occurs here.
Blind Spot: Known to others but not to self. Seeking feedback reduces this blind spot.
Hidden Area (Façade): Known to self but hidden from others. Personal information we keep private.
Unknown Area: Neither known to self nor others.
The Johari Window emphasizes trust, feedback, and mutual learning. By expanding the open area, we enhance self-awareness and enrich relationships.
In summary, self-awareness isn’t a passive state; it’s an ongoing journey.
Whether through introspection, feedback, embracing self-awareness empowers us to live authentically and thrive.
Now that you better understand, let’s begin to work on expanding the journey. .
Discovering Trust Through the Open Self
The open self can be thought of as the “Arena”, those areas we like people to know about us. Communication flows openly, and people feel understood without hesitation. In the area, we are confident and self-assured. Here, we aren’t just listening for an opportunity to say, "Yeah, but..." Instead, we listen without judgment, open to others' perspectives, and ready to build upon what is shared with a "Yes, and..." mindset. This is where real connection happens, and it’s the foundation for effective collaboration.
The importance of this area is authenticity and effectiveness. We are most authentic in this space; therefore, we are free to grow, try, and show.
Uncovering the Blind Spot
Next, we turn to the blind spot—the area we are unaware of but is visible to others. We typically see this area as communication confusion and frustrations. We have no idea why others react as they do. We may feel misunderstood or judged in this area. We may see see leaders and team members as ineffective.
The blind spot, happens to be one of the more challenging areas for leaders and teams. It is difficult to others feel comfortable sharing their observations. How can we encourage those around us to speak up and help us see what we might be missing? It starts with vulnerability and creating spaces that foster genuine, constructive feedback. In doing so, we remove the hesitation and make room for growth.
Secrets Within the Hidden Self
In the “Facade” is that hidden self, where we explore the secrets we keep—the parts of ourselves we hesitate to reveal. We are well aware of these aspects of ourselves but we choose not to share. Whether out of fear or pride, these hidden aspects can limit our ability to form meaningful connections with others. The reality is that facade can be energy consuming and can prevent us from becoming the person we are meant to be and have impact to areas we are not quite aware of. These behaviors are why people may not trust us or consider us inauthentic.
By engaging in internal exploration, we begin to confront these secrets and consider how vulnerability can strengthen trust and collaboration within teams. Sharing parts of ourselves we have kept hidden can unlock new potential and authenticity in our leadership.
Navigating the Unknown Self
Finally, we arrive at the unknown self—the aspects of ourselves we have yet to discover, often because we haven’t encountered situations that demand these skills or insights. It’s easy to assume we know ourselves, especially if we’ve been successful in familiar circumstances. But true growth comes from asking, "In this current situation, with these specific individuals, how can I explore collaboration in a new way?" This quadrant pushes us to evolve and embrace uncertainty as an opportunity for learning. This area becomes important as it makes us unpredictable. We send the wrong energy or may react without knowing why we are reacting. We don’t know this area; therefore, the reactions are sincere but the reasoning is unclear.
So What?
You may be asking yourself, so what. Why is this important to me, I am very self-aware. I get it, self-aware almost sounds like a personality trait (I have or do not have). Think of self-awareness as clarity of insight. The axis of the Johari Window, shift over time, fluctuates based on context, experiences, and external factors impacting you at the time.
As an example, think of a situation in which you were rejected. At first, you may not want to share any details as you want time to process yourself. In that time, your hidden window pane is creeping into the Arena space. Others can tell there is something wrong and they respect you enough to give you time to process. You see, life events impact the self-awareness, demonstrating the Johari Window as a tool not as a measure.
An employee who reports to me is relatively new having been in the position approximately one year. The person is learning as expected and due to the complexity of the environment is as expected, struggling in situations in which enough knowledge and skills have not bee acquired. The individual is overconfidence about their self-awareness indicating repeatedly, they are have everything under control rather than asking for assistance or communicating barriers to success. In an attempt to appear competent, the individual chooses to makes excuses and blames others rather than receive any guidance or mentoring. Maybe now, you can better understand the dynamic nature of self-awareness.
Next Steps
Below are some suggestions you might consider to investigate self-awareness more deeply. Take this challenge. Journal for the next two months. In addition, for those two months, solicit feedback without making any comments. Just listen and thank the person at the end of the conversation. Write notes in your journal or in a separate area. At the end of the two months, you might find you are correct. For you perhaps self-awareness is constant and perhaps you have an incredible amount of self-awareness.
Overconfidence and Bias: While journaling try to recognize and record the skill, knowledge, and ability you acquired since the last journal entry. Psychological studies have shown what you have likely experienced in your role as a supervisor or manager. There are those individuals whose self-assessment clearly demonstrate they are much better at communication than others are aware. The Dunning-Kruger effect describes situations in which due to a lack of metacognitive abilities, individuals demonstrate a cognitive bias in which their view of the their ability is much higher than actual ability. Essentially, Dunning Kruger offers an explanation substantiating why you don’t know what you don’t know.
Social and Emotional Factors: The impact of environmental factors on our state of mind. In your journaling recognize those situations in which either social or emotional factors played a part in your responses. Recognizing and acknowledging the role these factors can have on your self-awareness can help you better understand yourself and your reactions, skills, and abilities.
Mindfulness and Self-Compasion: Ouch, you want me to do what? Set aside time throughout the day to practice mindfulness and self-compasion. There are apps available that are mindfulness tools. Take time to reflect and observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Following a discussion that went well or did not go well, take time to reflect what your comments and reactions were. Overtime, you will might promote a better understanding of yourself.
Feedback Loops: I know, you welcome and encourage feedback. I get it, but do others? Consider that receiving and integrating feedback from others is crucial in the practice of the self-awareness journey. Those resistant to feedback may remain stuck in inaccurate self-perceptions, reinforcing the idea that self-awareness requires effort and ongoing engagement.
Practical Examples:
Do yourself a favor and take 10 minutes, right now and reflect on the following:
Do you seek and elicit critical feedback?
Are others willing to give you feedback?
How can you get better at seeking and eliciting feedback?
How big is your facade pane? Are there areas you can reduce it tactfully?
Do you withhold information?
From whom?
Why?
Do you withhold information from your team?
Why?
Is that a reason or excuse?
Consider your recent performance feedback.
Were blindspots identified? Do you agree or disagree?
Were opportunities identified? Were they related to facade or blindspots?
The Johari Window: For Managers and Leaders
The Johari Window is not a self-assessment tool but rather is a communication tool. By focusing on how our internal communication and communication with others impact how others see us. As the Johari Window focuses on disclosure and feedback, we will consider different styles of managerial communication.
Low Feedback / Low Disclosure: Managers reluctant to share information or receive feedback appear unaware of themselves and may appear aloof or anti-social. Think of Bill Gates or Keanu Reeves. Although both successful and successful, they are known as being private, introverted, and even public quiet. As a result, they are often described as detached, mysterious, and as though they do not care about others.
High Feedback / Low Disclosure: Huge blindspots, The expectation is that others share but unwilling to share. These individuals are limited in opportunity and effectiveness. Beyonce and Jeff Bezos are both examples that might represent this type. Beyonce controls her narrative, thus appearing a diva or celebrity rather than someone you might get to know. As a result, when Beyonce recently published country music, her approach was criticized rather than recognizing her talents as is done with Kelly Clarkson.
Jeff Bezos has built an entire empire on data, collecting and understanding data. Yet, he has been quite controlled about releasing strategies or making individuals comfortable with information collected.
Low Feedback / High Disclosure: These individuals are characterized as having low self-awareness as they do not realize the impact they have on others. These individuals are characterized as not listening; therefore, individuals are reluctant to trust enough to share. These individuals are autocratic and even considered ignorant. So self-absorbed they do not recognize concerns of others. Elon Musk is an immediate example who comes to mid. Despite his accomplishments and contributions,he appears to be very autocratic and even making poor decisions in recent years.
High Feedback / High Disclosure: This balanced approach of sharing information and seeking feedback enables a manager, leader, and others to have a clear understanding and feeling comfortable sharing information. These individuals are seen as authentic, non-defensive, easy to communicate with. Therefore, they are also seen as good leaders, trusted friends, partners.
Self-Awareness
As mentioned in the beginning, this blog was a direct response from managers, leaders, learning teams asking one simple question: “How can we get others to recognize the need to work on Self-Awareness?”
Well, I hope this gives you information you might consider in your journey. Some of the benefits of self-awareness works include:
Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Self-awareness enhances our ability to recognize and manage emotions. We can gain additional insight into our triggers and respond thoughtfully and patiently rather than through impulsive reactions.
Decision-Making: The more we are self-aware and recognize it changes based on context, environment, ... the more easily we can align our decisions with our true goals and priorities. We make decisions without bias or external pressure as we take a moment to consider.
Relationships: We now recognize that improved self-awareness improves communication with others. As a result, our relationships, both personal and professional benefit as we reduce and minize misunderstandings.
Self-Control: As we continue to become better equipped to recognize triggers and situations in which we might react, we manage our counterproductive behaviors more effectively. Our self-regulation is improved and challenging situations are better managed.
Resilience and Adaptability: Of the benefits, the ability to cope with stress and adversity effectively is the arguably the most important. With improve self-awareness, we are able to adjust our mindset when faced with challenges. As a result we are able to continue to identify areas to improve and grow. Confidence continues to grow as we become more attuned to abilities and skills.
Leadership: We we continue to grow and ability to respond appropriately, our leadership skills improve. We, as leaders, become more effitve with increased empathy and clarity. As a result, our teams become more fulfilled and more productive.
Your Journey Continues Right Now!!
Let’s get real for a second—self-awareness isn’t some fluffy, “nice-to-have” concept. It’s the foundation of everything. The reality is, most people out there are convinced they’re self-aware. They think they’ve got it all figured out, but they’re missing out on unlocking that next level. If you’re reading this, chances are you already know the importance of emotional intelligence and self-awareness, but knowing it isn’t enough. It’s time to do the work!
Here’s the thing: Self-awareness is a journey, not a destination. You’re constantly evolving, and if you’re not consciously investing in your growth, you're falling behind. The Johari Window? That’s just the starting point. It's a tool to hack your personal and professional development—to crush those blind spots and take control of how you show up in the world.
Now’s the time to ask yourself: What’s stopping you from leveling up? What if you invested fully in your own self-awareness journey? What would that look like in your career, your relationships, your leadership?
I’m not talking about theory. I’m talking about real, practical growth. That’s where I come in. I’ve been there, guiding people just like you through this process, and helping them go from “aware” to unstoppable. Let’s work together to unlock the version of you that’s going to make real, lasting impact.
This isn’t about waiting for the “right time.” The right time is right now. Whether you want to sharpen your leadership skills, deepen your relationships, or just get clear on your purpose—let me guide you through the work. You ready to stop playing small? Then let’s go. Hit me up today, and let’s start this journey together.
Let’s Make It Happen!
Thank you for joining me on this journey to mastering self-awarenss and achieving greater balance and fulfillment in your life. This is just the beginning. Whether it’s in your career, your personal life, or your relationships, the skills and strategies you’ve learned here will help you take control and create the life you deserve. I look forward to working with you and helping you achieve your goals.
Together, we’ll create a future filled with success and fulfillment. Let’s make it happen!
Happy journey!
Dr. Jim Ruth,
469-840-2400,
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